Bachelor Update - Valentine's Stalker Edition

DATING DIARY - VALENTINE'S EDITION: The current status of my four bachelors has, to be honest, taken a very weird turn. Let's work backwards: Bachelor #4 never got a date because he wouldn't tell me what he did for a living. I tried five times to get him to tell me, each time getting less tactful until I just came right out and demanded to know. It was like asking Barney Stinson what he does - he magically changed the subject every time. I only could get out of him that he worked nights and he didn't want to tell me, so that narrowed it down to a drug dealer or a stripper. 

Bachelor #3 got snagged by another chic while I was wasting time with Dully McDullerson, which is too bad because he looked like a young Russell Crowe. He's bookmarked for later - I'm already busy ruining one man's relationship, Russell will have to wait. 

Bachelor #2, my crush-with-Missouri-Girlfriend-baggage, I'm still working on and I'll tell you, he has gotten much more interesting. Turns out he's a Midwestern white rapper. Yes, I said Rapper. A rapper with three albums. If he knew how much I was laughing while watching his music video, he'd never speak to me again. (No, I will not give you the link.) This might come back to haunt me if I ever nail him...er, I mean ever nail him down. (It did.  Hi, Chuck!)

But to top off my Creepy Single Valentine's Day evening, I just got a Facebook Friend Request from Bachelor #1, Mr. McDullerson (who I now see is not dull, but in fact, just might be a serial killer.) Despite not agreeing to go out with him again, never giving my full name, and not having my face in my profile pic, he has managed to stalk me down and find me on Facebook. Why can't White Rapper stalk me?? Or young Russell Crowe?? Nope. I get Ted Bundy. Happy Freakin' Valentine's Day to me.